Reasons people stay in violent relationships


They may sincerely love their boyfriends, even if they do not like some of their behaviours.  They may prefer to stay in the relationship rather than be alone.


You may not recognise abusive behaviours (nor do many adults). You may confuse genuine love with controlling behaviours.

Belief the other person will change

You may believe you can change or help your partner if you devote enough time and energy to helping them. This almost always encourages the abusive behaviour and can even make it worse.


Violent partners may sugarcoat their words and promise that the abuse won’t happen again. They may even briefly – and sincerely – apologise. But their behaviour remains unchanged.


They often downplay their partner’s violence, saying “it’s not so bad” or “it could be worse”.  All too often, it actually does get worse.


Partners blame their girlfiriend and make them feel at fault and ashamed. You are left trying to figure out “what am I doing wrong?”

Fear of retaliation or threat

Fear that your partner may harm you if they leave them.

Suicide threats

Fear that the partner will hurt himself.

If you think you or someone you know may suffer from dating violence, please ask for help