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Violence prevention through education, awareness and empowerment.

The Sophie Elliott Foundation is a legacy to a very special 22 year old, Sophie Elliott. Sophie’s life was tragically and brutally taken from her by her ex-boyfriend.  They had dated for just five months.

Youth dating relationships have a higher level of emotional and physical violence than any other age group. Young people aged 15-24 are the age group most at risk of physical, psychological and sexual victimisation (New Zealand National Crime Survey, 2006). An alarming 48% of couples at age 21 have reported being physically abused by their partner (Moffitt and Caspi).

violence prevention

“As a legacy to Sophie, it is the aim of the Sophie Elliott Foundation to raise the awareness of all young women, and their families and friends, of the signs of partner abuse.”

Lesley Elliott, Sophie’s Mother

We say “ENOUGH”

The Sophie Elliott Foundation aims to cause a profound shift in New Zealand’s attitude towards relationship violence – one that has the next generation recognise and reject all signs of abuse, power and control.

In Sophie’s honour we aim to facilitate violence prevention education and prevent the abuse and murder of women at the hands of their boyfriends and partners.

On average a woman in New Zealand dies every 26 days at the hands of her current or former partner. Police receive a call for help in a domestic setting every seven minutes, yet they estimate only 18% of abused people make that call.

Dating Wheel

When one person in a relationship repeatedly scares, hurts or puts down the other person, it is abuse. The Power & Control wheel lists examples of each form of abuse. Remember, abuse is much more than slapping or grabbing someone (Source).

Hover over the icons to view examples of abuse. 

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MINIMISATION & BLAME

Not accepting responsibility for your actions
Making a joke when you hurt your partner
Telling your partner everything is their fault
Acting like abuse is okay in the relationship

POWER & CONTROL

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INTIMIDATION

Yelling or screaming
Using a threatening tone
Talking down
Threatening to hurt yourself or your partner
Making your partner feel afraid
Tearing up pictures, smashing gifts, destroying objects

POWER & CONTROL

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SEXUAL ABUSE

Bragging about your sexual relationship
Comparing your partner to past partners
Flirting to make your partner jealous
Using drugs/alcohol to get sex
Pressuring your partner
Rape

POWER & CONTROL

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PHYSICAL ABUSE

Holding your partner so they can’t leave
Slamming them into a wall or locker
Hurting your partner where bruises don’t show
Grabbing, Slapping, Hitting, Shoving, Punching, Kicking

POWER & CONTROL

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THREATS

Saying you can’t live with your partner
Telling your partner you will leave them somewhere if they don’t do what you say
Constantly threatening to find someone else
Saying you will commit suicide if you breakup

POWER & CONTROL

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DOMINATION

Treating your partner like a baby, property or servant
Making all of the decisions
Having expectations that no one can meet
Controlling who your partner sees or spends time with
Setting all of the rules in the relationship

POWER & CONTROL

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HUMILIATION

Putting down your partner
Calling your partner names
Constant criticism
Making your partner feel like they are crazy
Humiliating your partner in front of people
Making your partner feel guilty
Embarrassing your partner

POWER & CONTROL

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POSSESSIVENESS

Using jealousy as a sign of love
Accusing your partner of cheating on you
Not letting your partner have other friends
Telling your partner how to think, dress and act

POWER & CONTROL

If you think you or someone you know may suffer from dating violence, please ask for help